The Modern Woman is overwhelmed: why “trying harder” won’t fix it.

Women everywhere are exhausted to their core.

In today’s world, women are not only more likely to shoulder the weight of domestic labour and the mental load, they are also responsible for more direct child care than any generation before them.

Yet time and time again, women come into my office, saying the same thing: “I feel like I’m failing. I am so burnt out.”

The Myth of Burnout as Personal Failure

Burnout is often viewed as a personal shortcoming—a sign that we haven’t managed our responsibilities well enough. That there is something innately wrong with us and that we are the only ones who finds ourselves falling short. This perspective not only leads to shame and guilt, it overlooks the systemic pressures that contribute to our exhaustion.

The expectation to excel in every role without adequate support is a societal issue, not an individual failing.

I’ll say that again: you are not failing. You live in a world that makes it almost impossible to feel like you are thriving.

Doing more or trying harder isn’t the solution. In fact, trying harder can often exacerbate those symptoms of burnout.

How Your Nervous System Responds to Chronic Stress

Have you ever noticed a persistent tension in your shoulders?

A flutter in your stomach when you think about your to-do list?

Maybe you're feeling a little more teary lately, or just wanting to be alone.

These are gentle (or not so gentle) cues from your body, telling you it needs a little attention.

When faced with continuous stress, your nervous system remains in a heightened state, preparing you for constant action.

While this response is helpful in short bursts, prolonged activation can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion. Pushing through this state without addressing your body's needs can actually exacerbate feelings of burnout.

Signs Your Body Is Asking for Support

Your body communicates its needs through various signals:​

• Persistent headaches, digestive issues, or muscle tension.​

• Feelings of irritability, sadness, or numbness.​

• Withdrawal from social activities, feeling unmotivated, increase in doom scrolling and other numbing activities

If this sounds familiar, the answer to your burnout and overwhelm won’t be found in another cute daily planner or to-do list: its a sign to turn inward and listen to your body.

The good news is you don’t need hours of meditation or a week-long retreat to experience relief.

Body-based healing: a pathway to inner calm and safety

Acknowledging the body's inherent wisdom is the first step towards reclaiming balance. Integrating somatic practices into daily life can help you move away from the pressure of relentless self-improvement, and reconnect with your body in a way that allows your nervous system to feel safe and grounded.

Here are some gentle practices to try at home:

• Diaphragmatic Breathing: Practice deliberate, deep breaths, focusing on the expansion and contraction of the abdomen. This technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation (think of resting and digesting vs. fight or flight responses)

• Gentle Movement Exploration: Engage in slow, intentional movements, such as gentle stretching or mindful walking, to release muscular tension and promote awareness of your body.

• Internal Sensations Awareness: Cultivate a practice of observing internal sensations without judgment. This practice enhances awareness of the internal sensations and emotions you experience and supports nervous system regulation.

  You don’t need to “try harder” at anything. This is your invitation to slow down and turn inward to FEEL better.